All this changed when my dating schedule became very active.
Breaking off communication with someone I had nothing in common with, or at least who was missing qualities I was looking for, became easy.
I can’t go into as much depth as I’d like to in this post, but men and women have different senses of how they’d like to be noticed for things (and what they’d like to be noticed for.) At the root of it, when a man feels like he make a woman happy, he will not want to be in a relationship with her (or if he stays, he will not want to deepen it). Back to neediness: When a woman starts acting needy, especially in the beginning of a relationship, it shows up as the ultimate red flag. Neediness is synonymous with ’emotional dependency’, as in: “This woman is dependent on the guy in order for her to feel good.” Now, sometimes when I start explaining this, I’ll get a comment saying, “Oh so what? You can have it all, too, but what I’m trying to explain in this article is that you don’t get it from it.
When the stress lessened, I stopped paying attention to myself and started paying attention to my date.On one occasion when things were going very poorly, instead of stressing out, I told my date I didn’t think we were a great match but that we could still have fun over dinner.So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.When I was only meeting one girl a month, there were so many qualities that I didn’t like that I would ignore simply because I didn’t want to have to start all over with someone else.
I would continue to date someone negative or rude or conceited and would just hope that things would just eventually “work themselves out”.
With this approach, I went on one first-date every month, sometimes less.
All of these dates were very stressful because of the time being I devoted just to get to the date.
It also helped me better define what I was looking for in my profile. Greater Comfort One great side-effect to dating so actively was that I became more comfortable with dating itself.
I was discovering which conversations worked better than others and was able to avoid bumps in the conversation all together.
There were several side-effects to this, aside from a busier schedule, that make me now believe this is the best way to approach online dating: 1.